When you become a mom, something happens that you don’t control or decide, it just happens. You put that little baby first, before anyone or anything else in your life. You forget about yourself, and the fact that you’re your own person with wants and needs and hopes and dreams.
Before I had my son, I thought I knew exactly how it was going to be. I figured I would be the same person and would be ready to drop him off at grandmas so I could go do my own thing…boy was I wrong.
From the moment he was born I became very attached and protective. I’m already someone who likes to be in control so it was only natural for me to want control of everything in his life. The trouble was that it started to consume me.
After awhile I got to a point where I didn’t really do anything for myself and started to lose sight of what I actually enjoyed. My whole life revolved around my son’s wants and needs…and of course, housework when he was sleeping.
Sound familiar? Hopefully, this gives you some inspiration to get back on track and be your own person again!
Make Time for Yourself
Believe me, I know how hard this can be. You’ve got a to-do list that never seems to stop growing and by the time you finish everything you’re too tired to care about yourself.
You’re probably full of excuses why it’s just not possible to find the time. Seriously, you won’t come up with an excuse I haven’t already tried. But in the long run, you’ll get to a point where it needs to happen, no matter what!
Even if the only time you can find is at night after you put the kids to bed. That’s much better than no time at all. Obviously, you’re a bit limited as to what you can do but I’m sure you can find things you enjoy at home as well.
If you’re in a relationship, then there’s no reason you can’t get away for a few hours once in awhile. You both need time to do your own thing, so take turns watching the little ones and get out there and be free!
Figure out What Makes You Happy
As much as being a mom is the most wonderful experience, there are other things that make you happy besides your children. Am I right?
We start to become so consumed with motherhood that it’s hard to remember there are other things we enjoy. It’s perfectly okay to like doing things that don’t involve your kids, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it!
Does it feel like it’s been a long time since you’ve done those types of things? You know, like so long that you almost can’t remember what you truly enjoy anymore? If that sounds accurate, I know how you feel.
Maybe you don’t even enjoy the same things you once did. I used to love shopping and now I get bored after an hour. It’s like my toddler’s attention span is rubbing off on me!
I’m still not totally sure of everything that I enjoy for myself but I’ve made a lot of progress and I’m getting there. If I can figure it out so can you!
It takes an open mind and some brainstorming but the main thing to remember is if it’s something YOU enjoy. Not your partner or your child, but you and just you! I know that’s a lot of you but I’m trying to get the point across. I know how ingrained being concerned with everyone else’s needs and not your own is!
Talk to People About It
A great way to get back on track is to talk about how you’re feeling. I promise you’ll find other moms who feel the same as you, it’s more common to feel that way than not to. I know it can be hard to open up about it, but it’s worth it!
You don’t have to stick with new moms either, anyone who is a mom will get it! Try asking your own mom how she felt and you may be surprised with the answer. Just because it’s been a long time doesn’t mean they don’t remember.
Not only will you learn that how you feel is normal, you’ll also find out new ways to try and get out of the mom rut. We all know women love to chat so all you have to do is ask and you’ll probably end up with more information than you wanted!
Remember that you matter as a person not just as a mom. You deserve to have your own time and aspirations. Find the time to figure out what makes you happy besides those sweet little ones and go enjoy life to the fullest!
About the Author
Alysha Hoogestraat is a freelance writer for hire, residing in BC, Canada. She specializes in writing blog content that’s easy to follow and fits in naturally with your vision and branding. When she isn’t writing you’ll find her sprinting after her trouble maker toddler son. To learn more you can find her at alyshahoogestraat.com or on Twitter as @alyshahwriter.